One of the questions I get asked most often from mums is, “How do I get my small child to play alone?”

Independent play seems like the holy grail whether you want your little one to enjoy their own company or whether you are seeking a hot cup of tea in peace. The good news? It’s completely possible, and it’s a skill you can gently build over time.

Here are my 5 top tips to help your child play more independently, starting from as young as 18 months, and yes, these tips are still applicable for 3 to 4 year olds too.

🧠 1. Start small – think minutes, not hours
Tip for toddlers:
Expecting your toddler to play solo for 30 minutes straight isn’t realistic, so let’s dispel that myth. Start with short bursts, even just a few minutes, and gradually build up from there. You might sit nearby with your own activity, like folding laundry or reading, so they feel secure but aren’t the centre of your attention.

Tip for preschoolers:
Preschoolers may be able to stretch to 15–20 minutes, especially if they’re used to open-ended play. Give them a ‘start-up’ prompt, then fade into the background while keeping an eye out. Timers or a sand timer can help them visualise how long to play solo.

🧺 2. Less is more when it comes to toys
A cluttered space can overwhelm little brains. Toddlers and preschoolers benefit most from a few carefully chosen toys that encourage imagination and exploration e.g. blocks, pretend play items, sensory tubs, or puzzles. Try rotating toys weekly (or even every few days) to keep things fresh. Store most away and display just a handful. You’ll be amazed at how much more engaged they become when there’s less to choose from.

🪁 3. Set up ‘invitations to play”
I love creating these! An ‘invitation to play’ is simply a little setup that sparks curiosity. You might set out a tray with pom-poms and tweezers, blocks with some mini animals, or a sensory bin with scoops and cups. You are giving your little one a starting point and that can be just the confidence boost they need to explore independently. For preschoolers, add a challenge or story starter e.g. “Can you build a house for this teddy?” or “What happens if the animals get stuck in the mud?”

🧸 4. Repetition is a toddler’s best friend
You might feel like you’re setting up the same game for the tenth time this week, but that’s OK! Toddlers love repetition, it’s how they learn and feel safe in their play. Resist the urge to ‘upgrade’ activities too often. I learnt this lesson very early on with my son and quickly discovered that he would happily play with the same activity for several days. If they’re enjoying it, let them repeat it again and again. The more familiar it becomes, the more likely they are to explore it without needing you beside them.

🤗 5. Fill their cup first
The most important thing that you can do before expecting your little one to play on their own is to connect with your little one first. Just 10–15 minutes of focused, one-on-one play where they lead the way can fill their emotional cup and make them feel confident enough to explore solo afterwards. After your one-on-one time, let them know, “Now it’s time for you to play while Mummy makes lunch. I’ll come back in 5 minutes to see what you’ve done.”

Hopefully you can now see that independent play isn’t about leaving your child alone and hoping for the best! It’s a gradual skill built through connection, consistency, and just the right kind of setup. And remember – every child is different. Some may take to solo play naturally, while others need more support. Keep celebrating the small wins, and keep showing up with love and patience. There is no overnight fix but, with time, you’ll soon be enjoying that hot cup of tea or coffee – uninterrupted.

Would you like some easy, low-prep play ideas that support independent play for your child’s age and stage? Come and join my free Facebook group or download free activity cards to get you started.

👉🏼Join my free Facebook group here

👉🏼Download free activity cards here

Karmal x

(Visit my website www.learninglighthouse.net for freebies!)